I don’t want to be sold at the slave market anymore: Unbearable feelings of being tortured, hated and sold repeatedly  

I am offering spiritual counseling services, sexual health, AIDS awareness, and survival items across the United States for anyone who isnt interested in throwing me away or trying to ignore me and discard me like I’m the scum of the earth or like I’m a piece trash. I didn’t graduate college either (school wasnt for me I couldnt go because of the bullying and abuse), I learned from experience which led to lots of reading,  studying, and self teaching.

My entire life is infected with the nastiest, grossest, fakest humans alive

Everything else I’ve tried to do with my life hasn’t  worked. I keep getting bullied and abused by my family, laughed at by prostitutes, lesbos, gay men, and all women, I also get raped, harassed, stalked, and more often beaten by every man I come on contact with. I often get bullied by crooked cops and thrown into solitary confinement several times, never given any mail, never given any commissary and never had a visit. As of now, no one will watch my youtube channel, support my business, hire me for a job, no man will marry me or be my boyfriend, no one will pay attention to me, and I never have enough money to survive. Females especially, have no regard for my life and they have been nothing but GROSS and SICKENING to me. They make my stomach turn and very nauseous. I don’t get along with any female alive. I dont know what having friends feel like because I’ve never had any. 

I can’t breathe

The same people who tell me to ”go away” or that they dont like me,  don’t want me around, or refuse to support any of my goals are the same sickening people who start stalking me when I run away from them or move forward. They immediately get jealous of me and start acting like they know me and that they are trying to help me. They arent. They are very very annoying, envious, sick people. They dont know me, and they aren’t trying to help me nor do they show me any love. They only do that to cover themselves for the sickening way they have treated me, and people buy it. Then I remain alone,  I helped, unloved and abused. They feel as though I am not good enough or pretty enough to be loved and treated like a human being by anyone. My haters are like robots. They do the same thing to me over and over, year after year, decade after decade, and I can never grow. I try and try so hard to flee this much abuse and hate, and grossness, and I fail everytime. Then they laugh. Its gross. Its embarassing. There are some real racist narcissist all around me. It seems as though people just want to hurt me, beat me down, and then blame me for why the abuse occured. Im all alone. I dont want to be around people. I want to be secluded far away, withough getting abused, where nasty narcissist,  envious pedophiles, gay abusive homosexuals and know it alls, cant touch me or hurt me and I want to stay there forever without them ever finding me. 

Every time I focus on the positive, they only focus on the negative and then they come back looking to hurt me three times worse than they did before. They are a very incest, hate, jealously, disease, death, narcissistic, and poverty infested people. They want me to stay STUCK and live like im always STUCK on how they are. People walking around who dont have regard for human life will do whatever it takes to hurt me. If it makes me cry, they will do it. If it makes me feel alone or if it invades my privacy, and makes me uncomfortable, they will do it. They will publicly humilIate me, they tease me, they watch me suffer. If it makes me vomit, they will do it. They call me out of my name and they apply an enormous amount of pressure and hatred. They are so sadistic, greedy, envious and inhumane and disgusting they will do abusive things to me and laugh while theyre doing it. People just dont care about my life at all. I could die today and they would just laugh, piss on my grave and spit on it, and act like I nevert did anything positive in my life. I think they are too focused on celebrities and the media, to even pay attention to everyday people making a difference in the community. Their world is plastic and fixated upon material gain. Every where I look for support, Im being bullied, stalked, abused or let down by a bunch of insane, gross sociopaths. Im always in grief, and Im always being hurt and mistreated. I can only offer support to someone who needs it and I don’t want anything in return. I wake up every morning feeling violated and sick to my stomach with an extreme amount of grossness attached to me. My body feels molested, raped, used, ran through and abandoned. Maybe one day I will be free, but for today, I probably never will because the sickos always stalk, harrass, or threaten me and they won’t let up. The more I fight them off, the more the haters and abusers grow in number to bully me and tear me down. They will often, downplay every single one of my dreams that I have EVER had, or laugh at everything that should be taken seriously, and blatantly wont support me and continue to bully and harrass because its fun and popular to them to be that way to me. I don’t even want people to know my story or know anything about me but I cannot live in that much silence. They are too gross. I wish I could live a life of peace, privacy and respect- the small things some people take for granted. People do not listen to me, they listen to my abusers and they consistently neglect me while they mock me and laugh at my loneliness and pain. The abuse has been happening to me for over 10 years.