When I die, I hope my missing body is never recovered by anyone: Stay away from my corpse  

When I die, I dont want my body to be found. I don’t want my corpse to be found. I don’t need any human traffickers, mobsters, cult leaders, vampires, cannibals, rapists, morticians, inbreeding hillbillies, kidnappers, crooked cops or any other type of weirdos near my deceased body. I prefer not to ever have a funeral. No one has ever been in my life or ever loved me and quite frankly, waiting until I die to support me would sicken me and make me turn over in my grave and haunt them, and before my enemies start saying things like “we wont bout to spend a single dime burying yo ass anyway” I’ll pass. If they did find my body and bury me, they might get jealous of my last name and try to clone me by putting a fake last name on the tombstone because they are sick, greedy, twisted, perverted, inbreeding child molesters that love taking from me. I hope that I vanish into thin air and they never find my body. If all of a sudden they magically have a change of heart and try to search for me, I hope they spend centuries wasting their time.