From the time I was a little girl I never really wanted to be alive. I knew something wasn’t right with my family. I was born without one. I had to adapt to living in different shelters, brothels, and eventually jails, and I was being abused and sold on Backpage and Craigslist by all of the people there. It was absolutely disgusting getting raped by all those nasty, racist, horny pigs. My body still feels very gross. I haven’t been sold since April 2021. To this day, I am still very grossed out at the level of pain and suffering those AIDS and diseased infested people caused. They were very, very, dirty and unclean people.
All the men I was sold to, were transgender women and bisexual men. All of them were LGBTQ. It was extremely HIV infested and gross. I was sold to approximately 300 or more homosexual men on the U.S. East and West coast while I was being trafficked. Some of the gay men were getting into serious trouble with their gay partners, for sleeping with a woman behind their back. They knew that I would eventually find out about the high amounts of HIV/AIDS and STDS I was being exposed to. They’ve harassed me for so long, I am usually almost always wanting to be dead. They really wanted to infect me with AIDS.
AIDS & COVID awareness: These images are examples of the type of “men” hustlers that work at restaurants and grocery stores part-time, stocking shelves and touching all of your items without gloves on
I just can’t stand the pain that the dirty rapists pigs caused. They stick together like white on rice and they always cover for each other in their behavior. My level of homelessness is on a whole new level now. I’m a felon and no one wants me to have anything. I can’t go to the jails, hospitals, and shelters because the people are too infested with incest and diseases, and they keep trying to beat me up, threaten me, harass me, rape me and sell me to the whole city. It’s so gross and sadistic, that I keep imagining what it would feel like dying and never waking up again. They are very, very, funky, and cruel and they never want me to feel anything. They never want me to face my emotions and be mature about anything. They are always wanting to have their way with me. It is SICK. I’m just another worthless dead body to those people.
I wish I was rich. I wish I had a nice job. I wish I had a record deal. I wish I could afford a nice car, a little tiny house or log cabin, and nice jewelry and clothes. I wish my two kids weren’t being raised by abusive transgenders. I hate being a Welfare recipient. It’s extremely disgusting and ghetto. I want better, but the gays and incest people won’t stop looking down on me, threatening me, and beating me up. I feel disgusting! I don’t want to live like a poor, abused, battered slave! I wish I could protect my 2 kids so they know that I’m really their mom. I wish I had a family, friends, and money. The list of wishes goes on. I won’t be granted any of those wishes ever as long as I live, so what is the purpose of living? To get raped, harassed, neglected and abused by a bunch of nasty pigs all my life? What is the point of living just to be poor and abused by everyone? It’s just SICK!!! I hate being in my own body!!!! I will never let the LGBTQ community, or a nasty jealous man, or married man touch me, hear me, or see me, ever again!! I haven’t been in a shelter since 2020, I haven’t been in a hospital or a jail since 2018. I haven’t been employed since 2020. I will never return to either of those places. I’m just going to spend the rest of my life in the wilderness, ALONE, waiting to die- like a deathrow inmate. I can not be near those nasty, disease infested, greedy, nosey, sloppy, gay, brutal, abusive, racist, incest-having people. I just want to die, so the narcissistic, controlling incest people can live.
Somewhere along the Mississippi River– Lame people make my skin crawl. I don’t want to be around ANYONE. They will HURT me, and then give me a sadistic, sickening, grin. One that I never want to see for the rest of my life. The pain will never leave, because they aren’t all dead yet. I never want to see those people AGAIN. It is GROSS, knowing I was around those incest people, those lesbians, those sloppy bisexual-faggots that are thirsty for attention, those ugly, dyking police officers, project babies, those nasty hospital workers and nurses, those fake gay men, those food delivery workers, those phoney, nasty, funky, smelly, military (army, navy, air force) faggots, those funky, violent gang members, those smelly, nosey religious freaks, those ugly nasty children, those tranny people, and those fat, sloppy people. They were all narcissistic snitches and they are EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND NASTY. They abused , neglected, humiliated , tortured, beat, and abandoned me. I don’t want the black community back anymore. They just want to beat me down more. They might even throw me away for good or just murder me or chop up my body. That’s how fake they are to me. In the future, I plan to be in a more remote location so I wont to look at them, see them, or hear them. I do not accept money from those people. I do not want to move into the projects, go back to school, go to jail, a mental home, a shelter, live with them, visit them, or be anywhere near them.
Being in the middle of nowhere alone brings me much joy and peace
To all the unmarried straight men reading this, that can’t understand me, or think my life is joke, I am so sorry, I’m not gay enough to want to be around any females for any of you. I no longer wish to be in their presence or yours. I’m going to keep curving them, and staying away from all the gay, smelly, fishy, phoney, whores in the world. I’m sorry if that upsets you. Please do not bully me with your friends, family, homies, or exes. It’s sick. I am not dirty, I am not gay, I am not a prostitute, I’m not a stripper, I’m not mean, I’m not a crack or dope fiend, and you people can not see me. I will not let you. I’m pretty sure you will all find someone someday who can satisfy you and make you happy. I wish you the best! Seriously, I do!
Warning: This article contains explicit material. If you are under 21 or are sensitive to physical and sexual abuse, mild profane language, and violence please exit this site now.
I was Being rejected by lots of ugly pimps and madams: They wasn’t supposed to prey on me anyway it was sickening
I’ve been bullied and abused by lots of men. A lot of them were skanks or uncle toms and worse-sex traffickers. Although I have never been married, I used to think I would be the perfect wife and my kids could have the perfect father and life they never had. At the time, I had decided that if I would date someone, I would cook, I would clean, I would wash their draws, I would work, and earn money and have their back through thick and thin. Unbeknownst to me, all the men I were dating, were homosexuals and down-low crossdressers dating men behind my back, and it is not a laughing matter.
I always thought I was attractive but they always compared me to more attractive or popular women. I knew that there is always someone who looks better and badder than the rest, but they didn’t know that. I was even forced to sell my entire body for some of the gay guys I knew, and they never respected me. I found out later a lot of them were gay, downlow, or cross dressers that were trying to trick me because they thought I was a filthy prostitute or a vulnerable, lonely, desperate person looking for love. I found out most of them were dressing up like women and girls. Sometimes they would take off their nail polish, makeup, and wigs to go “spit game” to women. All of them aren’t HIV positive so its really tricky. Some of the men use protection everytime they sleep with a man. It’s really heartbreaking. A lot of them were “rainbow” type of men. At that time, my “gaydar” wasn’t on point like it is now. Now they all act like Lil Nas X.
In Washington, D.C., I used to see a lot of men kissing in broad daylight just walking down the street. I’ve also spotted these types of “men” in Ohio, Atlanta, New York, and Virginia. They’re like the men in the movie For Colored Girls starring Janet Jackson or more like The Tyler Perry movie A fall from Grace. They were always getting jealous of me and abusive towards me. They hated on my every single move. From the makeup I wore, the wigs, the hair, the clothes, reading a book, going on a vacation, writing a story, everything. Those gay men hated everything about me, and most of them still do. They have the attitude of a real woman, I can’t tell the difference anymore. Their attitude is far from masculine.
Men never wanted to love me or respect me because I don’t hang around enough women or because I’m not a player and won’t let everyone run through me. I didn’t have a bunch of random guys phone numbers in my phone, nor did I roam the streets with filthy whores trying to mack or pick them up. Those greedy, sick, men never respected any of that. Their wives, mothers, aunts and daughters were never queens. They didn’t know how to handle someone who isn’t trying to live like a nasty, stank whore. They’re not used to that type of normalcy. I can respect the fact that I’m not their kind, but they couldn’t. They didn’t want a real woman anyway. They wanted a slut. That’s all they’re used to.
The type of women the former tricks, John’s, & pimps marry and settle with: Most of them lack ambition and dignity
Since all the rape and abuse from those horrible guys, I’ve seen some of them find love, but a lot of the women were dumb and accepted their disgusting flaws. Some of the women don’t even know how to read. Some of the women the tricks and John’s settle with, do not know how to work, hustle, and they lack basic survival skills. The women may assume that they already have enough education and clout to survive in today’s world, but their attitudes and actions towards others (including their family) prove otherwise.
Aside from not wanting to continue their education or learn anything new, these type of women have become content with being what they are even if that means laying on their back for the rest of their life for the same man, they will do it. Some of them will knowingly allow the men to rape prostitutes (male and female) and will still stay married to them. Those type of women will cater to and submit to all of their partners dirty, sick, fantasies even if it means hurting themselves or hurting another person.
The women the pimps, johns, and recovering tricks put on a pedestal all have problems. Some of them carry diseases – what I like to refer to as -“the cooties” or “the monkey” including HIV and herpes. Others have killed several fetuses at abortion clinics because they lack responsibility. Some of them are mentally retarded or have a learning disability. Some of them have had incest with relatives in their own family. Some of the the women have went to college, received a degree, and still resort to laying on their back for a man and pimping young women who don’t have an education. Some of the women the Johns settle for are party animals. All they do is go to the club with their party animal friends and act like wild, trifling, goofy monkeys in the club. Those type of women even drink, smoke, use cocaine and drugs, dance like skanks at their own children’s birthday parties, and even curse and yell at them regularly. Sometimes it’s not even on a special occasion- sadly, they party everyday. They will even have sex with someone (including another woman) in another room while no one is watching or bring people over while their children are sleeping or while their partner is gone. Some of them don’t exercise and are not aware of their overall physical or mental health. They are too afraid to seek professional help for their problems because of fear of what their friends or family may think. They call it “living life”, I call it living disgusting.
Being forced to resign from the strip game: no where to run, no where to hide
Reminiscing about the days when I was a stripper on the east and west coast, a lot of creeps and weird women saw me performing as a stripper in the nude and to this day I still can’t find employment and have to feel extremely grossed out and have to live with the shame. I had future plans of becoming a professional security guard for any company that would’ve hired me, but not clubs. I changed my mind. I don’t nasty workplace bullies. I’m not going to worry about the hundreds of employers that turned me down. I won’t resort to stripping or letting some sickening clown try to pimp and finesse me. I don’t want to show them any part of me anymore. Those dirty gross men and transwomen raped me and left me to die. It is sick. Sometimes I have to take several tub baths just to try to get the pain they caused and the disgust off my body but it won’t go anywhere. It’s still there every single morning. Everyday I wake up I feel nasty. I feel like the pedophiles, hebophiles, ephebophiles, and unnatural people are violating my body all over again. I feel like they are forcing me to feel nasty, weather I want to or not. They want me to look and feel like a dirty, unclean, unsanitary person. It is very, very, disgusting. The way they make my body feel is way beyond gross to explain. I hate uncovering my body, even to take a shower daily. I feel scared, abused, and violated. I want to feel safe. I havent felt safe in over 6 years.
I can’t respect being bullied and thrown away like trash after I have hustled hard and people have saw me dancing on club stages in at least four major cities in America including Hollywood, CA, Miami, FL, PG county, Maryland and Virginia Beach, Va. I resent all of it. A lot of those clubs were nothing but run down, rinky dink looking brothels. I don’t care about the celebs that attended either. None of them paid my bills. Why should I care. I attended a lot of events and stood next to a lot of famous porn stars during my stripping career including Mr. Marcus, Pinky, and Kapri Styles somewhere around 2011-13 at a old Virginia club called Bentleys. The list can get even longer. I also worked at club Voodoo Lounge at the Oceanfront in Virginia Beach, Club G5ive, The Office,Trap Lounge, The MintLounge and the old Cocos Nightclub in Miami, Fl, the old 4Play in Pompano Beach,Fl, club Teasers in Tampa, Fl , Ebony Inn in Maryland, The Strip Truck in Hollywood, CA (just a few months ago), and the raggiest of them all, the old Paradise2Gentlemen’s Club in Newport News, Va. I hustled at 9 different clubs in Florida alone, two of them I don’t recall the name of. I made the most money in Miami. I made so much money I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t have a pimp there either. I remember riding in my fancy, luxurious rental car with at least one thick stack held together by a rubberband in the center compartment every single night. The only reason I left Miami, is because someone eventually reported me driving without a license to the rental car company at the Miami airport, and my rental car (that I was paying for by the month) was taken away and I didn’t want to go to the club in an Uber. I was being too flashy. I fled Miami because the embarrassment of not being able to drive anymore was just too much to bear. By the time I got to Pompano Beach, I was forced to use Uber everyday, and it was just too much work. I ended up all over the place. After feeling and witnessing a very strong presence of voodoo, misfortune, and malific witchcraft, I eventually I left Florida altogether, never to return again. I ditched Christianity and began practicing the religion out of no where. I’ve been stuck practicing it every since. I haven’t chopped off the heads of any chickens or anything. Killing animals ain’t my forte and I’m still working on becoming a vegetarian because everytime I see a piece of meat, I know someone had to kill the animal and it bothers me to a certain extent.
Stayin’ in the celebrity mix ain’t all that : The snitches tip off the police and send me straight to prison
I stood on the stage at a rap concert with Young Scooter around 2014-16 at a club called Lavish and took a picture with actor Michael Blackston at the old Static Lounge in Virginia Beach somewhere around 2013-16. That is around the time I first got busted for a DWI. I also remember going to concerts but not being backstage or onstage. I went to see Kendrick Lamar at the Nova in Norfolk, VA , I saw Drake and Lil Wayne in Virginia Beach and The Lox around 2014 at the old Willet Hall in Portsmouth, Va. I seen Yo Gotti in Virginia a few times hanging around strippers but I was so drunk (ew) that I don’t remember which club it was. I don’t want to remember any of it. I want it to go away. The lifestyle isn’t impressive to me anymore. It’s just burnt out. I didn’t get anywhere. I got one too many DWIs trying to drive myself to and from these clubs without a friend in sight. It disgust me.
I caught my last DWI in 2017 after leaving the Alley Nightclub in Newport News, Va. I had several Long Islands that night and yes, I was alone. Being in Newport News City Jail was a living nightmare. If there is word for being worse than disgusting, I want to start using it. I was on probation for three years. There is a thin line between being too flashy and looking like a bum. Both can lead to disrespect and I can’t seem to find balance anymore so I give up.
I don’t know anyone and I don’t want to meet anyone new: They’re going to hurt me really bad again
F#%* them all. I don’t wanna go anywhere anymore. I don’t even wanna look anyone in the eye. I don’t even wanna see anyone’s face, I’ll just look at the ground instead. I’m not speaking any English to strangers either. I now believe I suffer from Selective Mutism. I don’t care if they have nothing to do with what happened to me. I don’t want them to make it worse so they can all just f%# off now. I don’t want any friends because women these days are acting like nasty, childish, dominating lesbians and Im not interested in being gay, or treated that way. I don’t like my family because they’re all into incest, and I don’t want to meet any new people or date any men because they’re probably either a homosexual, a racist judgemental Uncle Tom, or have a wife or worse- a nasty acting, funny looking baby mother. I enjoy being away from people and by myself. I don’t need protection. No ones keeping me safe, I’m better off being alone at all times because I am an expert at protecting myself. Im not a comedian. I don’t need any fags laughing at my pain. Most of them will take advantage of me by being abusive and heightening my fears or “persecutory delusions” on purpose because they feel as though I will never be loved, cared for, or believed in.
It’s easier for them to just be lazy and slap a crazy label on me and neglect me for the rest of my life. I’m not a human being to them. They’ll say things like “no one ever gonna believe we did that stuff to you”, “no one is gonna save you”, and “no ones ever gonna want you”. I prefer to not be around people period, especially rapist and child molesters who can’t comprehend the word “NO”. When I try to cry out for help or explain stuff to people they’ll say “no ones doing anything to you” and “you did that to yourself” even when there is obvious proof that i have been abused. They do the same old stuff over and over, such as a rape, sexual exploitation, a black eye, or stolen property. I just cant tell anyone. They’re all gross and mean. They want me to be isolated, living in the wilderness, for the rest of my life. Because I know these things about people, I cant really eat anything.
I don’t like the stripping, porn and entertainment industry and how gay it has become: too many homosexuals
I thought it was ok to be ass naked in the dressing room around a bunch of strippers. I also watched The Players Club (at only age fourteen) but I thought it was just a movie. I was introduced to that movie when I was at my baby sitters house, which I now realize was a terrible place for a child to be left alone at. I have also watched A girl Lost: A Hollywood story and a movie called Treasure Box which is almost similar to real life events that take place in a sex slaves life. Those freaks really are that gay and money hungry. Why do so many women go to the strip club as a customer also? Why do they and their “homegirls” or themselves and their “boyfriend “ need to see a bunch of completely naked ass anyway? What are they trying to do- get more game to spice up their freaky ass relationships? I’m not with “the shits”. I don’t go both ways either.
I have gotten several offers over the years including an offer in San Fernando Valley, CA and also on the east coast to do porn, but I have NEVER done that. The price that was offered to me was just not enough to sell my soul and ruin my life. Even if I did decided I wanted to do that, it wouldn’t have been enough to purchase a house, nor would I have been able to hide the shame from my two sons. Doing porn for me would have been completely pointless, like a lot of the other scams and phoney business offers I keep getting. I just know a lot of porn stars who have reached their peak at lesbianism. I have even witnessed over 20-30 women or more having an orgy with each other on several different occasions. I have also witnessed women having sex in their car with other women in broad daylight in Chicago. Porn damages the brain. It takes a lot to heal from those explicit images. A lot of pimps like to play those videos at strip parties and during VIP sessions. It just isn’t my thing and i dont like parties anymore either. Those type of environments are just disgusting to me at this point.
Sickening women and their sickening attitudes against me: all those freaks lack empathy and a regard for human life
Over time, a lot of the women who witnessed me stripping naked, started stalking me, teasing and humiliating me with no remorse because I was still a loner, have no friends and still no man -because they keep being goofy, lame and jealous trying to steal them so I can be alone. They’ve been stealing all my “boyfriends” since high school. I’ve witnessed at least two females who were susposedly a “home girl” (even inviting me to birthday parties or other parties way back in the days) steal men from me, sleep with them, marry them or have a baby by guys I were “dating”. They’re experts at trying to isolate me from any guy who shows interest in me. At this point I dont care because those guys were easy like sunday morning and would put their private parts in anything just to hurt my feelings. Even a man could steal a man from me. Its the biggest turn off in the world. Some of them are pedophiles, hebophiles, and ephebophiles, and not only do they like stealing men, kissing each other on the mouth and laughing at the weak, but some of them like having sex with underage children, including young boys. A lot of these women love feeling overly confident about themselves, or being extra bold and nasty towards others, and they also like seeking validation from other women who support their sickening behavior instead of thinking and speaking up for themselves. They do not have their own brain. Their friends, their pedophile and rapist police officer boyfriends or other person will influence and groom their narcissistic attitudes. Some of them will even try to take their own children or someone else’s. What a gross world. The only thing I can do is separate myself from all women, whores, prostitutes, sluts, and pedophiles. They will vainly sit back and watch me loose my mind behind their filthy, thirsty, trifling nonsense. They dont care how greedy sickening they are being. They will also bully and tease me simply because of how I responded to their narcissism and in the past.
When I was a kid, I new something wasn’t right about the women around me, including my mother. I was just always left alone, or left in the care of pedophiles. They just always seemed funky and skank, and to this day, they still are. They were pedophiles when I was young and they are pedophiles to me now as a fully grown woman. It’s sickening and gross. I was a loner as a kid because the women around me were nothing but sloppy, disgusting, child molesting, hateful, narcissistic, cocky, freaks. The doctor diagnosed me at only fourteen, with anti social personality disorder. I didn’t want to accept it. He kept making me feel like I was supposed to have friends and that it wasn’t normal for a teenage girl to be that left alone or scared of people. It really hurt knowing those women were nothing but trash. A lot of sociopaths, child molesting women and men who can’t keep their nasty d@%k in their pants, get off to stalking me and seeing me crying and hurting in public. It is truly a sickening and disturbing site to see and experience. Now that I am older, my anti social behavior has progressed. I wish the faggot lesbos and stalking faggot men from my past were spending a life sentence without parole in a state penitentiary hell eating their own feces, but that’s not going to happen. Their lame ass boyfriends and girlfriends are too stank and pussy whipped and d%@k whipped to let the rapist stinking whores lose the battle to me. After all, I am nothing but a “peasant” that they can bully and rape whenever they feel like it. Now, the only thing I can do is try to stay as safe as possible from them sickening people because they will continue to hurt me and hurt me some more. They do not care if I cry. They all fit the description of true narcissistic, sadist, and sociopaths. The type of cruelty they inflict is certainly inhumane and unnatural.
Not only do black women act that gay, hateful, and ratchet, but white racist whores can be just as cruel and stank. They’re still being like those nasty lesbos in the movie Monster. Those type of creep women be holding hands in malls, giggling and laughing or down at the beach holding hands and kissing in broad daylight. Who raised some of these women? What type of fathers and mothers so they have? All the nasty, filthy, women roaming around the streets these days. I get extremely petrified when I see some of these perpetrators in person. I run into them almost everywhere and I literally almost immediately puke, or get a sick feeling in my stomach that makes me want to vomit. Some of them have already seen me vomiting in public. I’m not throwing up because of the Covid-19 virus or any other illness, I’m throwing up because these disgusting people keep getting acknowledged and getting away with the unthinkable and unspeakable acts.
A lot of the women and “fans” tried to take me without asking. They bullied me, teased me, laughed at me, beat me up, stalked me, trafficked me, killed my father and started desperately treating me like an ugly peasant all of a sudden, and last but not least tried to shut me up and silence me against speaking out against their hatred. Those hateful, greedy, disgusting, disturbing, fake ,stinking, narcissistic black women keep abusing and neglecting me like I’m not even a person or a human being. It is sadistic and sad. I do not like those types of people and I dont enjoy being forced to see them.
All women make me nauseous: the most devastating trauma
Yep, every single female on the planet makes me nauseous. I have been so triggered by their nastiness and brutality, that I can not look at them, be around them or hear them. When they speak to me I ignore them. I stopped trying to go to a female therapist or counselor for help. I dont go to church. I am not a Christian. I will never step foot in another church again. I havent been inside of one in three years. I dont shop around women. Their stores trigger me. I dont go to womens support groups, shelters or programs. I dont go to womens conferences. I dont go to the beach or to parties or cookouts (I never have an invitation anyway). If im incarcerated, I immediately try to go to solitary confinement (which is even more brutal because they will spy on me in there) so I wont have to see them. If they yell, I tune them out. When the guards bring me my food, I dont look them directly in the eye because if I did, I’d never be able to eat. I’d die of starvation and malnutrition. I dont like the sound of their voices or the way they talk. The sound of their voices alone makes me uncomfortable but i still have to put food in my body. Most of the time, I drink a meal replacement or eat bread and soup. If I have to go to the grocery store and see one, I look at the ground. If they are with a man, or one or more other females, I assume them to be twice as hateful and threatening. Everytime Im around a female I start losing my appetite. I start feeling like I have been raped, molested, bullied, stalked, beaten over 100 times, and left for dead in the blistering cold to catch hypothermia right there on the spot. Its a sick feeling. I avoid them at all cost. They are a disdurbing sight to look at. Wherever women are, I immediately stop feeling safe. I cannot stomach the disgust I have for them and their hatred for me.
I never needed any of those sadist & mentally retarded coons: I had to start accepting poverty and not greed
With all the heterosexual (because thats what I am whether men like me or not) money I was making while dancing, I was able to rent cars in Miami and other places, and was able to purchase a used Benz and a getaway car for one of my traffickers in Los Angeles. I also went on multiple shopping sprees buying stuff from stores like Bebe, Nike, Zara and MAC, but I never could quite afford those Gucci scarves and those Louboutin heels. I also lusted for Versace and Cartier frames that I couldn’t earn enough money to pay for. I purchased gold plated tennis bracelets, basic handbags from places like Target, bath and body works, stayed in hotels and ate top of the line sirloin and seafood with an EBT card. I desperately wanted a house or a condo but could never quite be loved by those fa%##t ass people enough. With the money I made on the east coast selling my vaginia for the slick traffickers, I was also able to make a silent escape to take my first plane trip from Baltimore to the west coast landing directly at LAX in 2020.
Over time, I started hustling harder and making a little bit more bread. Just enough to pay for a room and eat oodles noodles. People just started getting weird. I thought I was the poorest but I kept meeting poorer people. I kept getting mugged, set up and robbed for my stash everywhere I traveled to. After I get robbed, I usually have to sacrifice and eat nothing but ham or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like they do in jail. Wearing the same clothes everyday like a cartoon soon becomes a bore, then I have to resort back to dancing. I grew tired of that. Eventually the stripping audience started asking me to submit to strange and unnatural fetishes with other women, I then declined, and so did my stripping career. My clients started turning their backs, acting like they did not want to see my body anymore and men started acting like I wasnt good enough to date or hang around. I gracefully read between the lines and resigned as a stripper and escort because the lifestyle was too GROSS.
A lot of the women in the industry these days aren’t even impressed with the money and the lifestyle, they’re just impressed with bumping pussies with each other in a state prison or in a mansion or whore house. They sell their entire ass for material things and for children that will eventually find out they were a whore in their past life. The game is all twisted.
Depression and fear takes over: too much abuse and rejection
My drug habit eventually came into play around 2016. I felt so unloved, so ugly, and so unwanted and had no where to go. Every where I turned, every human trafficking program, every homeless shelter, every prison system, every “boyfriend/pimp” i came across I was continually being abused and neglected. I realized that people just have no room for me. People aren’t smart enough to know what kind of person I really am. They judge me by my situation of poverty as well as the irrational decisions I made in the past to explode and get physical, and take all my anger out on those creeps.
I felt like I was being rejected by the entire world. Even fat people and retarded people have found more hope and support than me. Everyone started seeming nastier and crazier than they were back in the days. I don’t know if it’s the Pandemic fucking up their head, or if they really are just that sick period. It could be my race, it could be that fact that I’m a single mom, it could be my hundreds of tattoos (I’ve never wore body peircings-although they are associated with tattoos and tattoo shops), it could be my lack of furthering my education, it could be my religion, but whatever reason the world has an attitude about me, I’m not going to try to figure it out. I never will. I never wanted to be treated like the scum of the Earth. I even ended up being hospitalized repeatedly for trying to kill myself. I started off just cutting myself lightly then it progressed over time. During one suicide attempt, I swalled a whole bottle of Ambien, during another episode, I jumped out of a second story window and had to wear a backbrace for months, and during the most recent, I made a noose and tried to hang myself from a garage but I didn’t want to just break my neck and not actually die. It was just too painful so I had to “get over it.” I even almost died of a drug overdose and alcohol poisoning in an alley by choking on my own vomit. That is how much i was throwing up.
I was a very popular girl or at least I thought I was. Then I finally realized I wasn’t. I was only popular because I chased those people and fast money. I chased my relatives for their guidance (which I eventually found out they were never even smart enough to give any advice, love or support, they were too slow and negligent) and I also chased my so called “friends”. After my second DWI, I realized I really do not have any friends. Friends don’t let friends drive drunk. Friends don’t abandon and neglect each other. Friends don’t let friends go to the club alone. Friends don’t let friends get raped by strangers and forced into prostitution, and they dont laugh and humilate you when you’re in a crisis situation.
The last straw: jail became a revolving door
I was alone in my prison cell during my most recent incarceration at Western Tidewater Regional Jail in Suffolk, Virginia In 2018, which was a assault charge against my own mother. What led me to incarceration was the fact that my father had just passed away about three months prior and my mother did not have sympathy or empathy. One day while I was drunk, I was being bullied by a bunch of rich sloppy women a few doors down from her house. It was three of them. I ran back in the house and told my mother what they did and she did not take my side. I was furious. I felt so helpless, scared, unarmed, and alone. She started yelling and I resorted to spitting on her. The spit hit her glasses and the little bit of spit never even got on her. She then snitched on me and called the police. I walked down the street, right past my incest having neighbors house a few feet away, and I walked pass the the big fat sloppy bullies house. I was crying profusely headed for a hiding spot. Before I was able to hide, the nasty black ass police officer found me, called for backup and arrested me and threw me in jail for assault on a family member. I did not know spit was a weapon. Now I do. I was treated like such a disgusting, disrespectful child for trying to protect myself.
My father sent me commissary at ChesapeakeCity Jail before he drowned 3 months prior. My mother never liked my father and bad mouthed him even while he is turning in his grave. All of his other children followed suit in disrespecting him after death except me. I was the one who was really there for him and he didn’t leave me anything. He trusted my gold digging, funky half sisters with all of his estate and they never offered to help me at all. They chose to sit back and watch me suffer from a mental health disorder while im eating off food stamps, getting trafficked and raped by men and panhandling and sleeping outside. They never even gave me a ride or checked on me to see how I was doing, but had the nerve to send me a copy of the estate. Gross.
My father, (God rest his soul) was the only person I had. While incarcerated, I contacted my fathers daughter, which is my half sister, BethanyBatson, but she did not send me anything and told me that she could not afford to talk on the phone. She happened to be a police officer for Washington, DC metro at the time. No one else came to save me and they threw me in the hole, stripped me of my property til I was completely nude and put on suicide watch for almost a week because I said something about wanting to die. It was disgusting. Putting me on suicide watch was the cruelest and most degrading experience I have ever had inside of a jail. I freezed to death and cried silently every night so the predators couldn’t hear me. It was absolutely SICKENING. I had no food, they starved me, I had no toilet paper I had to beg, I had no spork, no books, I had no cover, no blanket and no jump suit-all because I felt suicidal. Who wouldn’t feel suicidal after being treated like that by all those cocky ass, funky, self absorbed, negligent narcissist?
The sadistic killers, prostitutes, and ugly monkey looking butch guards thought it was hilarious seeing me in that condition after I had just lost my father Delma Ben Batson. Batson was a retired Vietnam Veteran who was also incarcerated at Western Tidewater Regional Jail for a DUI. I’m still not certain how or why he drowned. My father always told me my mother was a nasty bitch (using those exact words) but I was never able to fully expose it until his death. That’s when her true colors unfolded. She was sick and hateful and is also mean to her grandchildren. She often belittles me, calling me a coward for not succumbing to the abuse. She is a narcissistic mother. Every time I’m around her and her relatives, it gets harder and harder to speak up. Sometimes I have to stay so silent, that I can literally feel all of my energy being drained and begin to get a headache and body ache. Their attitudes are so disgusting, that I immediately get sick to my stomach whenever I am in close proximity. Unfortunately I have no where else to go. People are being extremely gross and dangerous. This woman wouldn’t care if my kids were raped or had to join a gang. They might even be safer with foster parents even as teenagers. She set me and my father up and will do it again if I let her. I have witnessed her hitting me and the children repeatedly just like she hit a child at the school she works at (back in 2003 around the time I first ran away from home because of her neglect ) and was laid off because the child’s mom reported it. She has not changed she is still abusing and neglecting children and passing them off to pedophiles. She never goes to work as a substitute and spends most of her days shopping for groceries or sitting around the house bossing people around. I even tried to file a grievance complaint while I was incarcerated at Western Tidewater, and the funky looking skank guard told me no and walked off and left me in there suffering in disgust. It was sickening to the core. All I could hear was women bitching, screaming and fighting. It was hell on earth. I had no wear to turn, no way to improve, and no where to run and to this day, I still toss and turn wherever I’m sleeping which is usually on the streets because of the gays and my pedophile birth family. I have self respect, weather they think so or not.
Virginia is a commonwealth state. I don’t care how many times you study the law, there will always be something that you do not know. It is the very first state where the African slaves landed by ship, when brought from Africa in the 1600’s. Virginia was the first and largest slave port in America. On the slave ship, the men where shacked in pairs on one side of the ship and the women were unshackled and held on another side. They were all treated as cargo.The children were free to move about the ship. All of the slaves were forced to eat rice and beans and had to relieve themselves of human waste right where they sat. They were not allowed to starve themselves.The women were often raped and sexually abused by their captors during the journey. When the slaves forcefully came from Africa across the Atlantic, some of the slaves died of diseases such as malaria and smallpox and others committed suicide by jumping overboard.
When they finally arrived to Virginia , the remaining slaves who survived were given jobs working in the fields. The slaves were ordered to work out in the fields from sunrise to sunset. Majority of the slave trade was taking place in the south. Women slave owners were more bitter than men. They were the cruelest and most callous.During slave auctions, The disobedience of a slave was determined by the number of lashes on their body. Light skinned people, of course, were brought at a higher price.The slave trade is and was considered the lowest form of humanity.
What slaves go through in the present
Slavery in a Virginia is alive and well. The prison system is also a huge problem in the commonwealth. Even if you think you’re the coolest in town and nothing will ever happen to you , it can. Their system loves making money off the poor by throwing people in prison for minor stuff such as a driving ticket or a fine for using profane language in public. No matter how small the mistake they will find a way to fine you , or have you arrested. Virginia’s driving laws are very strict and they have lots of speed traps. Their jails suck, as most jails are, and are extremely dirty. The prison population in Virginia is rising and the people in there are not in there for minor crimes. Some of them started off getting arrested for minor traffic stops, then once they realize how corrupt their system is, the fight for survival increased. The fines, jail time,racial profiling, and discrimination took a toll over their life.
If you think you’re moving to a nice quiet peaceful neighborhood in the country , it might not be that peaceful. You can mind your business all day long and people will still be in yours. A lot of the people have money so they tend to think they’re rich and stay at home all day doing nothing. They use that time to pry into their neighbors affairs or snitch to the police. They aren’t very creative. A lot of impoverished people travel to the District of Columbia or Northern Virginia, only to find out how bougie they are.
The public transportation system is slow. Unlike New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago and Miami, there is no train system to take you all over the city. Most of the citizens drive a car. A lot of them chose to work in shipyards or join the military, which is not even an option for people who grew up in poverty. You may think the bus is coming at a certain time but it will be several hours later that it arrives. People will also judge you for taking the bus, and local businesses will not hire you. You are subject to crime and discrimination catching the bus. The bus drivers are mostly African American and can be a pretty bit ratchet. They all seem to know each other and gossip travels at lightening speed.It isn’t vibrant, enthusiastic, or interesting for a poor black African American or any minority for that matter. For animal lovers, the Norfolk Zoo wildlife is bland and they rarely have any new species of animals.
The public school system is pretty rough. The drop out rate is high, especially in Portsmouth, and all of the local community colleges are filled with inexperienced teachers and lazy students. Mostly criminals and poor people who can’t afford a university and they suck too. A lot of the students are angry and they tend to carry guns to school. Why go to school just to end up a criminal?
A riot is the language of the unheard.
Dr. Martin Luther King jr.
Virginia is also very behind when it comes to releasing current information. You might be at a store we see a sign for an event that was 2 months ago, sometimes even years ago. They fail to keep up with the current trends or events. When you reach out to businesses they almost never return your call and it is not a heavily populated area. A lot of the employees that work at these businesses are lazy and spend most of their time chatting with friends instead of doing their job.
They have very limited resources in the commonwealth. If you are a poor minority and think you’re are going to move here and live the American dream you can forget it. They have limited resources for homeless people and people of human trafficking as well as sexual assault. The project housing units are filled with drugs, crimes and prostitutes just like any other state. You won’t see very much graffiti, but you will see a bunch of fake rappers pretending to be in poverty by spending time in neighborhoods they don’t really belong. The food banks give out food that is expired and old. The shelters give out food that isn’t healthy. Marijuana is also illegal in Virginia and they don’t have dispensaries. It isn’t multicultural. It is mostly equally made up of blacks and whites with a few Hispanics residing in places like Virginia Beach, Richmond, and NoVa.
On the Eastern Shore, there are over 3,000 immigrants from Mexico living in migrant camps alone.Some of them are illegal and undocumented. In 2020, half of them tested positive for COVID-19. They are not allowed to leave the camps or go anywhere and are often threatened with violence. Also In 2020, over 10,000 immigrants migrated from Mexico to Virginia to work in the agricultural field. Once they get to the camps, they are trapped, some even having to stay there for several years. They don’t get to see their family or go out to get fresh air. They live in barrack like dormitories and must be accompanied by a crew leader just to go to the store once a week to buy food. The majority of the undocumented immigrants from Mexico, El Salvador, Honduras and countries in Central and South America have lived in Virginia for 5-14years.
Majority of the population doesn’t care about anything. They just don’t care about anything. Most of them have narcissistic characteristics and it can be extremely difficult for a person with minimal education to be taken seriously, no matter how serious they are. The upper class feed off the violence, and will treat the lower class like they are their masters.You may find a sadistic female laughing at a man who has been killed, with her friends, just posted at the store talking about the incident like it’s normal or you may witness people getting bullied for who they are, for no apparent reason. You will also see people holding up signs stating they are homeless , looking like they haven’t eaten or showered in weeks. No one seems to help them and I don’t understand why.To sum it all up, modern day slaves can not run away away to live in peace or have a place to live, are forced into poverty,they have to take public transportation or drive illegally, they are poorly educated, have very limited resources and are treated poorly by mainstream society.